POV: Birth

Mrs Birth always has the last word

The Scan That Changed Everything
The day after our civil wedding, we went for a scan that wasn’t even on the schedule. My husband had missed the last two because of work trips and really wanted to see the baby. Romantic, right? Until it wasn’t.

The gynae looked concerned. Low amniotic fluid. Calcified placenta. Limb length not matching gestational age. Off we went to the specialist fetal assessment centre for more measurements. Their numbers were worse. Verdict: bedrest and see ya in a week.

and of course my blood pressure is high — i’m in a hospital

Bedrest = The opposite of what I’d consider a vibe
For one week I was stationary. No mountain walks with the dogs, no moving my body, and I literally sat in a chair for our baby shower celebrations like the queen of forced stillness. Of course I’d have done virtually anything to improve the situation, but sitting still is a particularly tough one for me on a good day.

The Next Scan
The week long sitting hadn’t done it’s job. Everyone looked alarmed. The reality hit: this baby needs to come out ASAP.

I had to mentally abandon the home-birth-in-a-pool vision I’d plotted and carried for 34 weeks. Our midwife (who I trust with my life and who wasn’t know going to be present at birth) was crystal clear:

“Sweetie, you have to abandon all plans you had and save your baby by having a c-section. Now.”

Planned Emergency
Next morning, 6am, we’re at the hospital for what they call a “planned emergency c-section.” A paradox in four words.

Funny enough: I feel like I got the birth I wanted. How?

Because I surrendered to the inevitable and accepted the new reality quickly.

We also played our insane birth playlist in theatre (seriously, hit me up if you want it for your next one). Louis was immediately put on my chest. We insisted on no screen, so I could see exactly what was happening. Our gynea and the whole team were incredible, kind and warm and even sang along to some of the songs (I still play these for Louis often and he seems to enter a different realm whenever he hears these particular tunes; the power of music is real).

The epidural on the other hand was… an experience. My husband coped equally well: halfway through the giant-needle-in-my-back scene, he whispered that he was “feeling rather light headed.” What timing, lover :)

Arrival
Then Louis arrived. And I have never experienced more joy, more ease, more this makes sense than in the moment of meeting him. It was like all aspects of me clicking into their designated positions.

hi there little cub

Pause
But then — pause. Louis was born 6 weeks early and tiny: 1.6kg. Straight to the NICU.

tiny but fierce

And that was the hardest part. Having to leave my baby in hospital. Going home without him. Setting alarms to pump every three hours, day and night. Visiting only twice a day during set hours, while every instinct in my body screamed to stay (or rather to take him with me).

They forecasted a month-long stay.

But Louis had other plans. He loved the boob like an absolute champion. He never lost weight, started gaining from day one, and two weeks later — against the odds — we carried him out of the hospital and into our lives. Hooray.

The next day — you probably guessed it — we took our little cub and his big brothers for a nice long forest walk.

people asked us what we were carrying in here

Some Facts I Took With Me

1. Modern medicine and diagnostics saved our baby boy.

2. Gratitude for our bodies is non-negotiable, no matter how long or short you baked your baby.

3. Who your tribe / village / support system truly is reveals itself quickly. It’s beautiful and you’ll need them, so ask. for. help. early.

4. Life is precious, and the best is yet to come. Also: time goes so bloody fast.

5. Go have date nights as soon as possible again: it felt so amazing to bring Louis to places that we used to go to as a couple (our fave is The Planet Bar at the Mount Nelson hotel).

the newborn dad glow is real

1st born, 2nd born, 3rd born in correct order, my German brain approves

Love,

Julia